Juba Women's Conference - #2

“But when He saw the multitudes, He was moved with compassion for them, because they were weary and scattered, like sheep having no shepherd. Then He said to His disciples, “The harvest truly is plentiful, but the laborers are few. Therefore pray the Lord of the harvest to send out laborers into His harvest.” Matthew 9:36-38

I was praying throughout the day that I would be moved with compassion for the women we’ve been teaching the past 2 days. Before we started our sessions we handed out beaded bracelets to the ladies to remind them of our teaching (We taught the book of 1 Peter-Living Hope). Immediately the women started pushing each other and crowding around us making sure they got a bracelet; some women even came up twice trying to get more than one. I couldn’t help but get frustrated with them. Sometimes the African mentality of survival gets to me. I hate that they have so little therefore when anything is given to them they turn greedy. But more than hating their mentality, I hate that it causes me to withhold love from them. A younger girl named Elizabeth started to talk to me and asked me to take her back to America with me. I told her I couldn’t and she then asked if she could ride back to Kampala with us or for me to give her money. I told her no and that I didn’t come here to give her money but to teach her the Word of God and if she wanted to go to Kampala she needed to pray and ask God to provide a way for her. These past 2 days I was so bothered that some of these women only came to the church to get something from the Americans. I felt like they just saw me as a dollar sign. Many times I wanted to grab my things and walk out of the church because I was appalled at how the women were treating each other and being disruptive during the teachings and hounding us for bracelets. At times they were rude, greedy, unappreciative, and would be talking during the middle of a teaching.

But then I looked out on the crowd saw many faces that were so tuned in to the teaching. You could tell they were hungry for the Word, they were hungry to know God but they just didn’t know how. They literally did not know that God would give them another chance at forgiveness and salvation. They didn’t know that God could remove them from the sins of drunkenness or adultery. They are a scattered sheep with no shepherd.

I spent most of my teaching trying to ingrain in their minds that Jesus is the answer for them, that He forgives their sins, and that He has a purpose for their life no matter what they’ve done in the past, that He has not forgotten about them, and that their value shouldn’t be placed on material things but on their relationship with Christ. Most started to get it and I prayed for them to accept Jesus or to repent from their sins. As we returned today to finish up you could see a slight change in them. They seemed a little hopeful. We shared the Gospel with them again and Christina taught about trials, Anna-Marie about the foundations of the Bible, and Vicky finished up with how to be a godly wife. As women would ask for prayer, share a testimony, or ask a question about marriage, you’d hear stories that they have been beaten by husbands, committed adultery, were drunkards, and so on. They asked questions like “What do I do if my husband wants to have multiple wives or if a man wants me to be one of his many wives?” “Can I divorce my husband if he beats me?” These women truly want to please God they are just lost on how to do it. I started to have more compassion for them. That young girl Elizabeth that wanted to come to America with me, she is 16 yrs old and is beaten by her mother who is a drunkard. Her dad is gone, one sibling lives in Uganda, the other here in Juba but won’t take her in even though she is beat everyday by the mother. She speaks good English and I asked where she learned it. She said she went to school in Kenya for 10 yrs while they were escaping the war in Sudan. Since she has been back in Sudan she no longer goes to school because there is no money for school fees. Her mom is a soldier in the SLPA and hasn’t received pay for months, even so, it probably would have been spent on alcohol. So now she just stays at home and cleans and cooks all day. How do you have hope with a life like that? Only through Jesus. As I was talking to her I felt terrible that I somewhat shunned her the day before. She was trying to escape a harmful situation. She was desperate. If I was in her shoes I probably would have approached myself as well. She saw us as her one chance to escape a life without hope. I came to Juba to pour out the love of Christ with these women and I failed. I let my pride and flesh get the better of me. That just shows me how much I need Jesus in my life. It’s impossible for me to love all people in my own strength but my continual prayer is that God will enable me to have compassion and love for everyone through His strength, even those that just want something from me. During the conference I just happened to be reading in Luke and I came to chapter 6. I know the Lord was speaking to me through this passage. It’s says in chapter 6:27, 30- But I say to you who hear; Love your enemies, do good to those who hate you, bless those who curse you, and pray for those who spitefully use you. Give to everyone who asks of you. And from him who takes away from your goods do not ask them back. I felt like God was telling me that I needed to love these women even if they were spitefully using me and ungratefully taking things from me. So as I fail forward in my walk with the Lord I’m trying to be resilient by getting up off the ground, dusting myself off and trying to love again.

As we ate lunch and said our goodbyes I hugged young Elizabeth goodbye. As I looked into her eyes I realized that I will probably never see her again, at least on this side of eternity. I waved goodbye to all the women and hoped that they have come to know God a little bit more today and that they would continue to hold on to Him for hope. I imagine it will be quite hard for them especially in the situations that they deal with daily, but I won’t lose faith in the power of God.

Overall, I was blessed by this conference. The ladies genuinely seemed to want a strong relationship with the Lord. As we were driving back to the hotel and were reflecting on the day, Vicky made the statement that it was such a blessing to teach them and yet it was no sacrifice for us at all.. The sacrifice belonged to the women. They had to leave their families behind the entire day, pay for transport, and sit on hard uncomfortable rocks all day in the 105 degree heat. As I think about that I see how great our God is. He is so worthy to make sacrifices for, yet sometimes I forget that.